dROP dEAD fACE cANCER

Wow... it's been a year since my last post... that's all. Have a nice day fuckers.

I haven't posted anything for quite some time... so today I was thinking of ideas. I came up with this one, "Telemarketer Fun". Whenever a telemarketer phones my house, I usually have a bit of fun. I like to play this one game in particular, I call it the "How Long Does It Take To Get A Telemarketer To Hang Up On You" game. So I decided I would post some of my conversations with them, as soon as they happen. This is one that happened today.

Me= me (the whole time I had this old lady-ish accent type voice....)
TM= telemarketer

*rings*
Me: Hello?
TM: Hello, may I please speak to a Mr. or Mrs. Moore?
Me: Charlie?
TM: What?
Me: Charlie, is Charlie there?
TM: I don't know a Charlie. May I please speak to...
Me: I would like to speak to Charlie please.
TM: My name is Rick, I was wondering I you were interested in...
Me: Chuck
TM: Excuse me?
Me: Chuck... sometimes we call him Chuck...
TM: I don't believe I know of a Chuck..
Me: Are you sure Rick?
TM: May I please speak to a Mr. or Mrs. Moore?
Me: I think I can hear Charlie in the background, can you please put him on?
TM: Charlie doesn't work here mam, May I please speak to...
Me: Does Chuck work there?
TM:.... one second... let me get my manager...
Me: Wait! Wait!
TM: ......
Me: Hello?...
TM: ........
Me: .....Shit....
*Hang up*

Ok... well I didn't win this time... because I was the one that hung up...it was getting to heated.....but next time I will win!
(feel free to post your own fun telemarketer adventures in the message board!)

© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

When I grow up I wanna be one of those people that stands in dark ally ways yelling at people to give them money because they just escaped from the mental hospital and they need to take a taxi to mexico.....


© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

1. People that ditch you for someone else. You like to ditch? Next time you want to ditch me I'll fucking kill you and bury you in that ditch you like so much.

2. Slow walkers. If you can't walk faster get out of my way or suffer the consequences. I don't care if your old.

3. People that stand in the middle of the hall and take up all of the room. Next time you want to be in the middle of the fucking hall and take up all the fucking room, let me know, you can lay there dead and people can walk over you instead of around you.

4. Laidlaw... Enough said..... If you need to ask about this one, don't waste your fucking time, you won't get it. ANTI-LAIDLAW FOR LIFE!

5. "Fake Handicappers" as I like to call them. These people pretend to be disabled to get advantages. They take the good parking spots at the mall...Those fuckers....You want to be a real handicapped? Give me that cane and I'll shove it up your ass...

6. People that tell emo kids that emo sucks. Yes emo does suck, but don't say this to their face, they'll just fucking whine more.

7. People that tell you your opinion is wrong. FUCK YOU! ITS MY OPINION! You want to know my opinion? I think in the life before you were donkey shit that got stepped on by millions of rhinos.................and then pissed on by monkeys...

8. People that complain when they get a HOT coffee and its too HOT. Shut the fuck up! You deserve to get burnt you moron. You ordered a HOT coffee, you got one, now go fuck yourself.

9. Those people that make those plastic fucking circles underneath pop bottle caps. It takes me 20 minutes just to get this fucking thing out, and then it tells me to please play again. No I will not please play again you fuck! If I ever find out who makes these things, I WILL KILL THEM!

10. Smart asses. These people think there so funny with their shitty comebacks, but yet no one laughs. I'll show you smart ass, I'll shove those smarties your eating right up your ass, then you'd be a real smart ass you fuck...

© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

1. Green Ketchup. What moron thought of this?.... If you like this shit you should die.... It looks like goose diarrhea.

2. The finger.... Honestly, who the fuck is insulted by that? People that give the finger also piss me off... But that's off topic.

3. Packages that wont open. You want me to buy your product? Make sure I can actually open it you fuck.

4. Cell phones... Look at "people that piss me off" for further explanation.

5. The funny bone aka.elbow. What kind of fuck up came up with that name? Funny bone my ass...

6. That plastic shit on the outside of CD's/DVD's. Whoever made this must be related to those stupid fucks I mentioned in #3.

7. Pencils/pencil crayons. You break on me? I'll show you break you piece of shit.

8. Dented rulers. You can't draw a straight line with a fucked up ruler like that.

9. Circles. They're everywhere.

10. Fast food pop. If I wanted water I'd ask for it asshole.


© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

1. People with cell phones...Stupid fucks....I hate the ones that have their phones on in the theatre the most.... It just makes you want to rip their precious phone out of their hand, drench it in gasoline, light it on fire, throw it at their head, and laugh while they run away screaming.

2. Celine Dion... There's no explanation needed for this one...And if you do need an explanation then send me your name and I'll add you to this list.

3. People that do things and then complain about the consequences. Example: Big Frank was walking down the street. Little Johnny decided to throw a stone at Big Frank. Big Frank became Angry Frank and beat Little Johnny with a baseball bat. The next day Little Johnny complained to Bitchy Betty that he didn't deserve his beating...... Shut the fuck up already Johnny! You did deserve it you little fuck!......People that complain just in general piss me off ... Stop your fucking complaining or I'll stab you in the fucking eye you piece of shit.

4. People that fish for compliments. These people tell you something bad about themselves just so you'll say something good about them. Example: Shitty Sharlene told Racist Rachel that she thought her own drawing wasn't that good. Racist Rachel replied to Shitty sharlene that her drawing was good. .... I don't know about you but if I was Racist Rachel I'd tell Shitty Sharlene to go fuck herself.

5. People that tell you it's time to get a watch when you ask them for the time. Maybe I'm poor you inconsiderate bastard! JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING TIME ASSHOLE!....

6. People that love everything in life... You can go fuck yourself along with Shitty Sharlene.

7. People that laugh at their own jokes, when it's not even funny. I know a few people that fit into this category...And now you know you piss me off, so you can fuck off.

8. People with an unnatural number of fingers. It's just not right. Don't talk to me if your one of these people.

9. People that don't take hints. If I ignore you that means I don't want to talk to you, which means I think you should die.

10. People that think dropping a pen is embarrassing. It would be so embarrassing if I chopped off your head and you got blood all over you and it looked like you pissed yourself. That would just be too fucking embarrassing.

11. Lynsey. She was too fucking blonde and asked for an explanation for #2.


© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

YOUR SITTING IN DEAD HOBO SPERM...yes...

© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

I love to hate
Hating is great
I hope you get cancer in the face.
I love to laugh
I hate to cry
I want to poke you in the eye.

© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

I want to shoot you in the face,
Then leave you in an awful place.
If you tell us to shh one more time,
I'll crush you into the size of a dime.
Your evil eye makes me mad,
All just because we're being "bad"
It's like we're not allowed to laugh
Well Fuck You
And the rest of the staff.

© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

To the whole human race,
I hope you get cancer in the face.
I really want to kill you all,
Or push you down and see you fall,
Off a cliff is where you'll go,
What really happened no one will know.

© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004

Some people need to die,
It makes me want to cry,
The world really sucks,
Your all a bunch of fucks.

© Drop Dead Face Cancer - 2004